I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel lighter and happier already. I have been letting this person walk all over me. I have been degraded, harassed, cussed out, talked down to, bad mouthed, and an endless list of other abuses by this person. And I have taken it all. Taken it nicely. Done my best to befriend and make peace with someone that only wanted drama. Someone that enjoyed my communication and my attempts at a friendship because she could use them as ammunition. I am pleased to say, I will no longer be enduring this. I have *finally* taken a stand against it, and stood up for myself. And I feel wonderful.
Here's what made me realize I DID NOT have to accept this type of treatment:
Speaking about children of divorce, specifically the parents and step-parents
Up until about the age of 10, there shouldn't be "mixing" of the households, so to speak. When they're older it's okay to do things in the same home or together - but at a younger age it's more important that they understand that it's NOT one big happy family.
Thank you to Alecia Worsala.
This means I don't have to be friends with the ex-wife. I don't! Thank you! I have tried endlessly to jump through whatever hoop she placed before me, in order to maintain peace. I have taken the heat everything she has a mood swing and gets upset. I have been the whipping boy any time she wants to get mad at somebody. I am an easy target for her. And I made myself available, because I thought it was what I had to do. But thankfully, with this small enlightenment, and many others from so many wonderful friends, it has finally gotten through my head. I don't have to take the abuse. I don't even have to speak with her. That means I don't have to respond to her emails or her IMs. I have now received three (yes three!) emails from her in the last two minutes. I've read the first one, it simply had an oh-so-mature explicit I shall not repeat (nor do I ever use something that vulgar). I haven't even had time to check the other two. Although I'm not sure I want to, now that I know I don't have to. The only time she ever emails me is when she wants to yell at me. The only time she messages me is if she wants something. She only time she is nice to me is when she has needs something else to hold over my head. I learned this long ago. And now, I have learned that it's okay for me not to take it. And with my wonderful husband sitting next to me, I am able to take the stand in my defense. I am able to leave this degrading and abusive relationship behind, and move on to people that give me the respect I deserved and have worked so hard earning. What a wonderful feeling it is, to remove such poisonous and hate from my world. I feel purely elated.
Here's what made me realize I DID NOT have to accept this type of treatment:
Speaking about children of divorce, specifically the parents and step-parents
Up until about the age of 10, there shouldn't be "mixing" of the households, so to speak. When they're older it's okay to do things in the same home or together - but at a younger age it's more important that they understand that it's NOT one big happy family.
Thank you to Alecia Worsala.
This means I don't have to be friends with the ex-wife. I don't! Thank you! I have tried endlessly to jump through whatever hoop she placed before me, in order to maintain peace. I have taken the heat everything she has a mood swing and gets upset. I have been the whipping boy any time she wants to get mad at somebody. I am an easy target for her. And I made myself available, because I thought it was what I had to do. But thankfully, with this small enlightenment, and many others from so many wonderful friends, it has finally gotten through my head. I don't have to take the abuse. I don't even have to speak with her. That means I don't have to respond to her emails or her IMs. I have now received three (yes three!) emails from her in the last two minutes. I've read the first one, it simply had an oh-so-mature explicit I shall not repeat (nor do I ever use something that vulgar). I haven't even had time to check the other two. Although I'm not sure I want to, now that I know I don't have to. The only time she ever emails me is when she wants to yell at me. The only time she messages me is if she wants something. She only time she is nice to me is when she has needs something else to hold over my head. I learned this long ago. And now, I have learned that it's okay for me not to take it. And with my wonderful husband sitting next to me, I am able to take the stand in my defense. I am able to leave this degrading and abusive relationship behind, and move on to people that give me the respect I deserved and have worked so hard earning. What a wonderful feeling it is, to remove such poisonous and hate from my world. I feel purely elated.
3 comments:
Good for you. Keep her in your prayers that she will have something good happen in her life to help off set her misery. Happy people don't want to make others miserable.
Deborah Brent
www.DeborahBrent.com
Dear Friend - Isn't it a freeing realization to know that you can choose what you take in? Words are flying around out there all the time, through the phone, through e-mail, through IM, through those cell phones that are so all prevasive. All that not withstanding, you can still choose what you want to listen to - I like to think of communication as *rated* and some of it is most certainly *R* and nothing good will come of filling your mind or spirit with garbage! I'm so glad that you have that realization in your life now. I also think it's good council (Deborah) to pray for those who spitefully use you, but you don't have to be their councillor, that's Heavenly Father's job! Love you dear - happy future in blissful silence from those who fill your space with stuff that should have been delivered to the local landfill!
cj
Way to go! Dont put up with that from her or from anyone! Be free and be happy!
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