Wednesday, February 6, 2008

From The Mouths of Babes

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being because although it is a very large mammal it has a very small throat. The little girl said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I'm going to ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What is Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see the children's work. As she got to one little girl who was diligently working, she asked what the little girl was drawing. The little girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, the little girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy Father and thy Mother", she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" A little boy in the back (the oldest child of a family) replied, "Thou shalt not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes. She noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out among her dark hair. The little girl looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this for a while and then asked, "How come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white, Mom?"

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clear, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood would run into it and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," said the class. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't rush to my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet ain't empty!"

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunchline, and the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate cookies. They also had a note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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