When I walked up to the little boy he was lying half way on his back and he was unconscious. At least that's what I thought it was. It is taking some time, but I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he was actually dead right there. I have never seen a dead person that wasn't prepared for burial. And he still had pink in his skin. But he wasn't bleeding. He was bloody, where certain parts of his body had been torn apart or damaged, but he was not bleeding. Someone that is not bleeding does not have a heartbeat. And someone that does not have a heartbeat. . .
But I still can't get over why I didn't do something more. I have learned CPR. I was certified not too long ago. Why didn't I start CPR? five and two, five and two. Could I have made a difference? Would that family still have their little boy if I had started CPR as soon as I saw him? The only thing I could think of when I saw him was "Don't move him! Don't touch him!" But why? What if I had started CPR?
When his mom got to him, she said his heart was beating. Was it really beating? Or was she just so desperate to hear a heartbeat? If he did actually have a heartbeat, could I have made a difference? But if he did have a heartbeat, why wasn't he bleeding?
Everyone else said they knew he was dead as soon as they saw him. Hubby even pulled me back away from him. Travis said he was dead. The rescue team.
But what if he wasn't? Or what if I had done CPR and it had brought him back? I just don't understand why instead of "Don't touch him" my first thought wasn't "five chest pumps, two breaths".
But I still can't get over why I didn't do something more. I have learned CPR. I was certified not too long ago. Why didn't I start CPR? five and two, five and two. Could I have made a difference? Would that family still have their little boy if I had started CPR as soon as I saw him? The only thing I could think of when I saw him was "Don't move him! Don't touch him!" But why? What if I had started CPR?
When his mom got to him, she said his heart was beating. Was it really beating? Or was she just so desperate to hear a heartbeat? If he did actually have a heartbeat, could I have made a difference? But if he did have a heartbeat, why wasn't he bleeding?
Everyone else said they knew he was dead as soon as they saw him. Hubby even pulled me back away from him. Travis said he was dead. The rescue team.
But what if he wasn't? Or what if I had done CPR and it had brought him back? I just don't understand why instead of "Don't touch him" my first thought wasn't "five chest pumps, two breaths".
