In Loving Memory

One year ago today, my father in law passed away. He did great work down here, and we're sure he is saving lots of kids up there too.

Rest is peace. We miss you and love you.

My posts about him:

• Yes, I'm here

• Remembering my Father-In-Law

• We miss him

Crushed

My good friend, Matt, was going to be a daddy.

He found out not too long ago. He was ecstatic, and we are all grinning as big as he was.

Unfortunately, it didn't last. His wife had the DNC yesterday.

Please keep Matt and Ginger in your prayers.

Thank You for Your Support

To everyone that has expressed their love and support about Katelynn, I want to thank you. I have passed on the wonderful outpouring you have shown, and it is greatly appreciated.

Katelynn Melissa Redmond

Another Angel Has Been Taken to Heaven

This is such a tragedy. I can only imagine the pain this family is going through.

Katelynn Melissa Redmond

The funeral is tomorrow. I will have another update afterward.

In Honor of Uncle Kenny

My husband's uncle was honored yesterday with a memorial service. Kenn was a medic in the military, and was killed when he stepped on a mine while carrying another soldier back to base. He spelled his name with two N's so he could be set apart from the other Ken's that were there. (That is how my husband got his name.)

Thank you for your service, Uncle Kenny. And thanks to everyone else that has offered their service.

Selo took this picture from the memorial in his uncle's honor.

In Memory

Angela, from Domestic Divapalooza, is encouraging all of us to remember on this Memorial Day Weekend.

I am grateful for all of the soldiers. Anyone that has represented the USA in any part of the world.

On Memorial Day, everyone that I work with will be holding a moment of silence at 3 pm. This will give us an opportunity to remember in reverence our fallen heroes- and those that have returned, as well. I encourage you to do the same.

President Hinckley (Found some links)

KSL.com

SUU Journal

Associated Press

Deseret Morning News

FOXnews

No info about the funeral yet. I'll let you know.

President Hinckley Has Passed Away

The Leader of the Church of Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ (the church which my husband and I belong to) has passed away.

That's all I know right now. My sister called me and told me. I've already talked to my dad, my sister, and my best friend. *tears*

Rest in Peace President Hinckley.


EDIT: I've found only one link so far. I'll post more when I find them.

President Hinckley

Thoughts on 2007

It has been a busy and emotional year for Hubby and I. I was just on the phone a few minutes ago talking to a friend about how difficult this year has been, and it made me realize how much we have been through.

January- Vacation to Myrtle Beach. Hubby's first time on the beach, and first real vacation (he said that!). This is where he proposed to me <3

February- Hubby's birthday. His first birthday away from all of his family. We had a big party for him to make sure he knew there were still plenty of people around that cared for him. My schedule at work changed. Hubby's youngest daughter had a seizure. (She is fine. Her mom took good care of her.) We start feeding the stray cat at Hubby's home, hoping to catch her.

March- WE GOT MARRIED!!! We got our endowments the same day we were married. Married in Washington DC, reception in Wilkes, temple trip and reception in Utah. Hubby started his new job the week after we got married, and we spent the week in Florida (paid for by the company!) so he could "train".

April- Hubby's youngest daughter's birthday. She turned four. Hubby's ex-wife got married. (Congrats to them!) We find out the cat is pregnant.

May- My schedule at work changed, again. The cat has her kittens. We fall in love with every one of them.

June- I left Corp America to become a full time caregiver. What a change! We moved into the lower part of a house, and I cared for the elderly couple upstairs. I started my blog.

July- Still adjusting to one income. Child support AND insurance (for us and Hubby's girls) began being withheld from Hubby's paycheck. Both are needed, both are huge. We pull the belt a little tighter. Okay, a lot.

August- My grandmother passes away at 90-something years old. We fly to California. Hubby's oldest daughter starts first grade. My Uncle Dachie passes away.

September- My sister has her first baby and my first nephew. Three days later, Hubby's oldest daughter has her birthday- she turned seven. We find homes for the Mama kitty, and three of her five babies.

October- I had my birthday- I turned 25. We find out Hubby's dad is sick, and book him a flight for the next morning to fly to Utah. Two hours later, the next call is to tell us he passed away. We book my flight out there as well.

November- Attend the funeral for Hubby's sad. Very very hard time. Hubby ends up in the hospital. The doctors can't find what is wrong, and send him home. We are waiting for the doctor to give approval for Hubby to travel so we can return to our own home, and back to our lives. It finally comes, and we go home. Even though my grades were still through the roof and I was caught up (or ahead!) in all my classes, I had missed to many days of school and the policy stated I was to be removed. I voluntarily withdrew to avoid any bad marks. Hubby and I left a few days later for our long awaited "honeymoon" and vacation of the year. We went to California with a bunch of our friends and went to FFXI FanFest 2007. It was an absolute blast. Then we went back to Utah for our planned Thanksgiving trip.

December- Many, many changes. I can't even list them all yet. But Christmas was wonderful. We had a great time celebrating our first Christmas as a married couple.


I am amazed at this list! I try to take things one day at a time, but looking back at this helps me to understand why sometimes I just can handle it all at once. I'll tell you this though, I am so glad I have my husband. He has been an amazing strength to me through everything, and I am glad to be there for him when he needs me, too. We still have some communication issues we are smoothing out, but he is amazing. We have a commitment to stand by each other through everything, and thinking back on just our first year of marriage, we are doing just that.

We miss him

Remembering my Father-In-Law

Sid has been gone for almost a month. We miss him a lot. So much has happened in the last month that we wish he had been here for. Selo has said so many times how much he wishes his dad could have helped him through this or that and how he wishes he could have seen him one last time.
We were very blessed to have Sid in our lives. I consider myself so lucky that he was my father-in-law. I couldn't have asked for a better man in his place. I have told him several times how grateful I am for him. And for the sons he raised (one of them being my husband).
Last year for Christmas, Sid gave some of us hoodies. Special hoodies. Sid purchased these hoodies with his own money, even though he was living (barely living) on his disability check month to month. He purchased us all black BACA hoodies. One for each of his kids- Selo and Sarah, one for me, and one for each of his grandkids- Katie and Natalie (Hubby's daughters), Cody, and Teasia, Tyree, and Kiri. They were directly from him and no one else. He said he wanted each one of us to be known as a "BACA kid", so that we would be safe and no one would mess with us. When Sid passed away, that was the first thing that Selo reached for. Teasia wore hers for days and days- and might still be wearing it. It is an honor to have been included in that special circle of his family.

To Sid
Thank you for what you taught me. Thank you for your lessons on acceptance and kindness. For your generosity and your love. Thank you for accepting me, without question or judgments.
I look forward to seeing you again. I look forward to the day I can stand before you, and know that I have made you proud. I look forward to the day I can see your smile.
Thank you Sid. We love you always.

The guest book will be open for a few more days. If you would like to sign it, but haven't had the chance, you may view it here >>> Sidney Ralph West

Yes, I am here

Hi Everyone,

I'm sorry that I haven't written much lately, and that I haven't written anything worthwhile. For those of you that don't know, I have been in Utah since Sunday. My husband's father passed away, and we have been out here for the funeral. My father-in-law, Sid, was a great man. We are sad to be losing him, blessed to have known him, and glad that he is no longer suffering.

Thank you for you continuing to visit me and email me. I will begin writing again starting tomorrow, and I will be home again soon. Life goes on, whether we are ready or not.

Rest in Peace
Sidney Ralph West

Thank you for your support and your happy birthday wishes

Since I was not able to respond individually to everyone, I would like to publicly thank everyone. Every single one of you have made a difference in my life, and I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

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First of all, I would like to thank everyone that sent an email (or multiple emails- as many of you did), an instant message, a note, or made a phone call. I would not have gotten through this tragedy without your overwhelming support and love. Thank you for lending me your strength, your friendship, and your faith.
Those that reached out: Abbi, Jessica, Mitch, Rebeka, Crystal, Mary, Hannah, Sanny, Phyllis, Elise, Angela, Miranda, Melissa, Kendra, Mindy, Gary, ConDawg, John, Gail, Brittany, Adana, and Jade.

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Secondly, I would like to thank those of you that sent me birthday wishes. Thanks to you, and my wonderful husband, I had a good birthday.
Those that sent birthday wishes: Crystal, Abbi, Rebeka, Mom, Mom-in-law, Mitch, Sanny, Fran, Xiochi, Michael, Paul, Sue, Selophane, Achika, Gamina, Veloxe, Vorloxu, Biddinger, Leanne, Angela, Cami, Lynda, AlleyKatt, Lacey, Beth, Shantel, Autumn, ConDawg, Angelynna, LaChelle, John, and Kristina.

From Jessica (my friend)

From Rebeka (my sister)

From Sanny (my SIL)

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Both of these lists will continue to have names added to them as I continue going through the messages I have received. Comments are open to everyone. You may leave a comment using your name, or leave a comment as anonymous.

In print

I have scanned the newspaper articles from the Wilkes Journal-Patriot on Monday October 8, 2007 and Wednesday October 10, 2007 . I have also scanned the program from the funeral service that was held on Thursday October 11, 2007.

Sorry for the rough cut and paste, and for the ones that are crooked. If you can tell me how to straighten them in Photoshop, I am all ears. Click on the image to enlarge it.

I have left comments open for this post. Please be respectful. Thank you.

Tyler Franklin Church

Here are some links I have found to online articles.
Although our local paper has a website, it does not have its articles online. Below I have included the story. (Sorry it took me so long. I had a hard time getting a copy of the paper.)

First

Second

Third

Fourth

Rest in Peace, Tyler.

Could I have saved him? Should I have tried?

When I walked up to the little boy he was lying half way on his back and he was unconscious. At least that's what I thought it was. It is taking some time, but I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he was actually dead right there. I have never seen a dead person that wasn't prepared for burial. And he still had pink in his skin. But he wasn't bleeding. He was bloody, where certain parts of his body had been torn apart or damaged, but he was not bleeding. Someone that is not bleeding does not have a heartbeat. And someone that does not have a heartbeat. . .
But I still can't get over why I didn't do something more. I have learned CPR. I was certified not too long ago. Why didn't I start CPR? five and two, five and two. Could I have made a difference? Would that family still have their little boy if I had started CPR as soon as I saw him? The only thing I could think of when I saw him was "Don't move him! Don't touch him!" But why? What if I had started CPR?
When his mom got to him, she said his heart was beating. Was it really beating? Or was she just so desperate to hear a heartbeat? If he did actually have a heartbeat, could I have made a difference? But if he did have a heartbeat, why wasn't he bleeding?
Everyone else said they knew he was dead as soon as they saw him. Hubby even pulled me back away from him. Travis said he was dead. The rescue team.
But what if he wasn't? Or what if I had done CPR and it had brought him back? I just don't understand why instead of "Don't touch him" my first thought wasn't "five chest pumps, two breaths".

The Most Traumatic Day of my Life- and I was only a By-Stander

A little boy died in my front yard yesterday evening. Hubby and I were pulling into our driveway when we saw the car, and immediately went to help. The only people there were the boy that was hit- who had been thrown from the motor bike he was riding into my yard, the 19-ish year old kid that had *gulp* hit the boy- who was standing in the middle of the road giving directions to 911, and a man in a blue shirt- I don't know where he came from.
I have seen people- even kids- in the hospital after traumatic experiences. I have seen the body's of people that are going to be buried. But nothing prepared me for what I saw when I walked up to that little boy lying on the ground. Nothing.
I have everything recorded (as of this morning) from the time Hubby and I saw the vehicle until just after the ambulance left the scene. I did it for two reasons. A- to get it out of my head, B- for a statement.
I may post more about this later, but not right now. I'm still in shock, and Hubby says he does not want to hear it if the boy did not make it. Hubby and I both spent the night alternating who was in the bathroom, as we were both so sick last night. Yesterday was the most traumatic day of my life- and I was only a by-stander.

I have disable comments for this post. However I ask that you email me instead of leaving a comment, because I would still like to hear from you.

For the Love

Day 3 of vacation:
The air matress Kristine bought for us was surprisingly more comfortable than anticipated. We still woke up before anyone else- except Grandma. The East coast people just can't sleep past 8PST. That gave us first dibs on breakfast though, hee hee.
After breakfast, we had the tantrums. It goes without saying that we will have at least one explosive tantrum when all of us are together. And, as most times, it was Kristine that started it. See, my mom is married again. And to see her affectionate with someone that isn't my dad is a big deal to us. We all want her to be happy, and some of us have even gotten past the point of hating and despising her new husband. But it's still . . . just . . . weird. And, like this time, very difficult. So, the blowout occurred. When Kristine exploded, the room cleared rather quickly. Grandma had never seen this before, and was stunned so much she didn't even try to leave. Hubby had heard about it plenty of times, and knew I was already in "Damage Control" mode, so he stuck around for moral support. After several minutes, I moved into phase two of DC and went to the other room where Mom, Dave, Rebeka, and Andy were. Although this time, something new happened. Grandma and Hubby picked up with Kristine where I left off. I did what I could in the other room, and headed back to first room. Thankfully, I heard Grandma and Hubby talking with Kristine, so I just stayed out. I stood on the balcony between the two rooms, and let the people in the rooms work themselves. Wow, that had never happened before. I have always been the peace-maker, the fix-it, the "make it better" person. Seeing Grandma at work on Kristine opened my eyes to where I got it from. In the end, Grandma talked Kristine into staying and continuing with our original plans and we all went on to the zoo.
When we got to the zoo, we were short on time. So started with the tram to take us around the whole park. It was a lot of fun. The driver did a great job and made us laugh pretty hard. After the tram, Mom, Dave, Andy, Rebeka, and Grandma decided to make their way back to the entrance and look at the animals that were on the way. Hubby and I decided to take the long way, and took off pretty quickly. Kristine caught up with us shortly and the three of us had a blast making our way through the zoo. We took lots of pics. Back near the entrance we pulled up alongside everyone else just as they were making their way into the gift shop. Kristine bought a very cute little hippo made of beads. She named it Fishy.
After the zoo, we went to the memorial park. They gave us a boys room and a girls room to change in. Thirty minutes later, after cleaning up and dressing up, we went to the memorial site. Teri, Michael, Barry, and the officiant were waiting there for us. It was a short and memorable ceremony. We got to see where Grandpa Bill was, and the place Grandma would be put- just next to him. Since it was just the eleven of us (minus the officiant) we moved the whole group to Red Lobster for dinner. The next few hours were spent catching up, and reminiscing. I learned more about Grandma Bill and Grandma than I had ever known. I got to hear stories about Teri and Barry and my mom as kids. I got to hear about Grandma Casey and her many tactics. And, since Hubby and I were at the table with Andy and Rebeka, I got to learn more about Andy. (He isn't the shy, quiet guy everyone thinks he is. Do you know how many Dr Peppers he can drink in a single sitting?) And since it was Andy and Rebeka's one year wedding anniversary, and Grandma Casey and my birthday, there were deserts all around. It was a wonderful experience, and one that I will keep tucked away.
After dinner, we went back to the hotel. We all went our ways, and continued to think about the day. It was an dramatic, emotional, learning day. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Pictures are coming- check back soon!

Babies really are a gift from God . . . and can be taken at any time

First the sad news, because I like to end on a positive note.

Trinity passed away during the night- early, early this morning. Trinity was three years old, and had a very rare heart condition. Due to her heart condition, she was having the last of five surgeries to 'fix' her heart. Unfortunately, complications occurred, and Trinity is now Home with God. Trinity lived longer than any one else to ever have this condition, and we are grateful for the time we were blessed with. The service will be held this Saturday in Gilroy, California. Our prayers are with all of the family. We love you Trinity.

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And second, my sister Kendra had her baby today! She and her husband, Nick, went to the hospital early this morning, and Kendra had a C-section.

Cyrus Blade *insert last name here*

He was born at 7:57am. He is 7 lbs 4 oz, and 21 1/2 inches long. Cyrus has lots of auburn hair! Congrats Kendra and Nick for the newest addition to the Harwell family. And congrats to the extended Davis family as well. Yay, I'm an auntie! Cyrus is my first nephew and I am so excited about him. See the cute baby shoes? I got to buy them for him :)

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It goes to show that God really does know what he is doing. He blessed both of these babies with entry into a new world. Thank you, God, for the gift of life.

*Sigh*

I got my flight today. I leave Charlotte at 4pm on Friday Sept 21 for San Diego. I will spend the rest of Friday and all of Saturday with my family. Then, on Sunday, we will go to my grandmother's funeral. *sigh* My great-grandmother Marian Schrager passed away. It has been some years since we have seen her, so my mom was going to go to California for her one year anniversary to see Grandma Schrager. That's when she found out Grandma Schrager had passed away the night before. Mom and her husband (Dave), Rebeka and her husband (Andy), and Kristine will all be driving from Utah. Grandma Casey (my mother's mother) will be flying from Charlotte on Saturday. We will all be leaving to go home (respectively) on Monday. It will be nice to see my family again, I only wish it were for a better reason.