Friday, April 11, 2008

Thinking About It

Thinking more about last night, I started wondering about some things.

The conversation between Selo and his ex didn't seem to go the way either of them had planned, and didn't seem to work out for either of them. Some things I observed about the conversation as a whole: It was late in the day when they were both tired. It was a highly emotional conversation. And from what I understand, simply got worse and worse the more they talked. I know this happens to everyone, so I've been thinking about discussions and arguments in general. What could have been done differently?

-It could have been held at a different time. Earlier in the day, before one is worn out from a long and stressful day. Before one is overwhelmed from everything else going on. Before the patience has run out, the plan is to head to bed, and people are already grouchy and uncooperative.

-It could have been held when not so emotional. Beginning a difficult discussion when one is already emotional is asking for trouble. Why not wait until one has had rest, relaxed a bit, and you are in a better mention and emotional state? Most people feel more ready to handle difficult situation when they are not already emotional.

-It could have ended sooner. When things begin to get out of hand, end it. Most issues will not go away right then and there- whether handled immediately or not. Take a step back, take a break, get a breather. Staying in will only worsen the situation, and therefore make it harder and more complicated to "fix" in the long run. There is nothing wrong with ending something that can wait if one is not ready to deal with it in a productive matter.

In any discussion, the outcome is affected by each person and their contribution. I wonder how future discussions will be different with these guidelines. They may not be perfect, or guarantee success, but wouldn't they be helpful? Aide in the stress? Assist with compromise?

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