Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I get it now

I am bored. That's why I've been so depressed lately.

Selo and I had a long conversation this morning. And then I came to work and had a chat with my boss. I am discovering that I am just plain not challenged enough. I don't feel like I am progressing, or am working towards a significant goal. At work, we are so slow that everyone has some time to sit around. However, I am full time, and I am just as slow as everyone else. So I have an extra four hours to be bored. No wonder my job feels like a waste of time right now. At home, the Christmas is put away, I've cleaned out the corner, most of the big jobs are done. Emotionally, we are at kind of a stand still. We are happy in our marriage, we have a plan for when to start having children, but we are at the in between right now. So I don't have a lot to focus my mind toward.

I feel better since talking to my boss. I explained my frustrations to him, and he said he understood them. I'm going to train on another area, and take over some more responsibilities. He has given me the okay to re-write some of the areas of my current position, and to tighten them up. He said that when I finish those things, come back and he will give me more. (I've been asking for weeks to be more involved with SS, so I think he's going to give me some work there, too.)

At home, I think I need to make some more goals. I need to do something. I'm still doing the volunteer work for NMHP, but I'm completely caught up with that and waiting for more to do there as well.I've been wanting to move the bedroom around, I can work on that. I might re-organize my kitchen so that things are a bit easier to reach. I will find some bad photos and work with Photoshop every day and learn that program. Selo and I have two books we've been meaning to read that will strengthen our relationship, I think I will read both of those, too. Maybe I'll find a book on empowering a woman's self and add that to my list.

Going into the new year, I will have a whole new set of goals to work on. The ten personal goals I set for each year. Those should give me some items to focus on, as well. Hopefully I will be able to get things together. I'm not depressed because I am unhappy, I'm depressed because I am un-challenged.


Crys said...

That's really great that your boss was willing to work with you. I actually took on a lot of responsibilities and learned things in my old position for the same reason. Have you thought about taking a class or something to help keep you occupied the rest of the time? I've been looking at cake/cookie decorating workshops lately. Have a happy new year! I'll e-mail you soon! It's on my list of things to do, like update my blog. he he.

Jade said...

I can definitely understand that. When I run out of things that need to be done it tends to put me in a weird funk.