Friday, May 7, 2010

Mother's Day- How it has changed for me

It has SUCH a different meaning to me this year. For the last many years, I have hated the holiday. As in, I would give my gifts a week early, and then close myself in the bedroom and spend the entire day bawling my eyes out. It was the one day every year I would allow myself to mourn my son. I know he was happy, and his mom was having a wonderful Mother's Day. But I needed one day per year to be sad and cry, and it was Mother's Day.

This year is going to be wonderful. First, on Sunday DH and I are going to church. My church makes a big deal out of Mother's Day. They have all the women stand and they give them a flower or little gift to celebrate them. This year, I get to stand up as a mom (instead of just a woman- not that they pointed out the difference, but I always felt different), and that means so much to me. Then, after our church, we are going to church with my SIL, where she is going to have her baby (born 5 weeks ago) blessed. That's a big deal for my husband's family, and will be fun to celebrate. DH is getting me something, but hasn't told me what yet. He said he wants to surprise me and plans to take me today. I'm excited. For my mom and MIL, DH and I gave them a moon windchime from us and the baby, and it matches the star/moon windchime in the nursery. I even helped DH get together a gift and card for his ex-wife, so he could thank her for being a mom to his daughters. As for our baby, I am going to be a mommy! That is a wonderful, beautiful, fantastic miracle of a gift in itself!

This Mother's Day is a big deal for me. I am counting my blessings and being grateful for all the wonderful things that are and have happened to bring me to this point in my life.


Desi said...

Have a wonderful Mother's Day.

I too am a birthmother and I do have two daughters (and a son on the way) that I'm parenting. Having my daughters has helped me on Mother's Day, but it is still a bittersweet day for me as it is always a reminder that I was a mother long before I started parenting. I just wanted to share this so if you do still struggle on Sunday you'll know you aren't alone :-)

*Marie* said...

Thanks Desi. This Mother's Day has a whole different feel to it. I will always miss being a parent to my first little boy, but I know it was the best thing for him and for me.

Thank you for your comments, and I hope you have a very beautiful and rewarding Mother's Day.

Val said...

You are a great mother to both your sons. I've never met a person so unselfish as you. I know the past has been hard for you but you have and always will be a great mom. Both your boys are lucky to have a mom like you.